Written by Alivia Stonier
From director Lynne Ramsay comes the mind-bending drama Die My Love, based off of the original novel by Ariana Harwicz.
The film follows Grace, played by Jennifer Lawrence, a first-time mother who has moved into her husband’s family house after the loss of his uncle. What begins as an exciting journey for the pair filled with clear passion, almost an animalistic hunger, turns into a story of suffocation and madness as Grace grapples with living a mundane life in Montana.
She goes from being a writer who is able to express her emotion through words to a person struggling through feelings that she can’t even begin to articulate. These feelings begin coming out in mysterious ways, from crawling around on the ground like an animal to scratching at the walls until her fingers bleed. This unraveling takes place over a slow and confusing period that encourages the audience to follow along and, as a result, has an incredible payoff.
While all of this unfolds, Grace’s husband, Jackson, played by Robert Pattinson, increasingly becomes concerned, but this growing panic is mixed with a denial that leaves Grace’s struggle like a simmer that is ready to boil over, and with it could go the foundation of their relationship as they know it.
Die My Love is not only an exploration of women’s independence but also of what happens to a woman’s identity as a creative and as an individual when placed under the weight and expectations of motherhood, especially in a small southern town.
Paired with stunning visuals that represent these struggles, Harwicz brings to the table a story that you do not want to look away from. As the performances from both Lawrence and Pattinson bring this struggling attention to life.
The film takes some twists and turns as reality begins to be questioned; whether that be a changing brand in the back of a scene when going over it or details within dialogue that don’t make sense, the audience is able to piece together that we are not getting a reliable narrator with a cut-and-dry telling of the things that this family is facing together.
As Jackson struggles to face the grips of reality with the situation, he unfortunately makes the stakes higher after getting a dog and adding to the pressure that Grace feels to keep the home together. This leads to the unfortunate loss of the dog, and it emphasizes how bad Grace’s mental health has gotten . It all becomes a recipe of paranoia and pain that leaves the audience to put the pieces together themselves and decide what they believe.
What is made clear despite all of these struggles is the joy that Grace’s son is truly able to bring her. Even in the face of issues with postpartum depression, we see time and time again that she prioritizes protecting him and giving him the rest even when she is not in the right headspace to even provide for herself.
This issue is unfortunately more common than people may think, and it is one of the more difficult parts of postpartum pregnancy that is not always talked about when becoming a new mother.
According to the National Institute of Health, postnatal depression (PND) in the UK is common, affecting roughly 1 in 10 to 1 in 7 new mothers, with some studies showing higher rates, especially post-pandemic (up to ~24%). Statistics show a worrying upward trend, with figures rising,and peaking at 23.9% in 2020.
While there is still much excitement to be had in pregnancy as the PND statistics begin to increase, many women are questioning the typical home trajectory that has been laid out for generations before, with the birth rates in Generation Z dropping in comparison to previous years as well.
After research conducted by The Institute for Family Studies, the findings were staggering: Gen Z is showing significantly lower birth rates, marked by record-low teen pregnancies (down over 70% from Millennials) and a sharp drop in young adults planning children.
Not to mention that many face both relational and economic struggles that add to this growing tension between motherhood and potential freedoms for many women. Despite Grace and Jackson being gifted the house, which they were thankful for, it is undeniable that it also carried a lot of hurt given the circumstances in which they received it, and it echoes those economic problems that can strain the very relationships that hope to thrive.
Despite these issues, of course many women enjoy pregnancy and continue to bring people into the world with that same love that Grace carried for her son even in the face of the struggles that came as a result of having him. There is an undeniable bond between the mother and child.
Die My Love holds a mirror to a current issue going on for many mothers within our society, and as the film comes to a close, audiences are faced with the growing fire that Grace steps into and with it takes the writing that she has typically cherished within her life.
This comes after an attempt to get better and receiving support, only to still be faced with growing mental health concerns that may have been boiling under the surface before her pregnancy due to difficult issues that she faced within her childhood.
Some may see the final scene as death, and others may see it as succumbing to the madness that has become a part of her. As viewers are left with a now lonely Jackson that has a full house to go back to, it leaves the audience questioning where their story truly lies at rest.
The film is one that will undeniably stick with the viewer, whether it be for its unconventional weirdness or the difficult story that it helps piece together. Even throughout the moments of grief that the film conveys, it also carries moments of happiness, mirroring the complexity of everyday domesticity. All of its more exploratory elements come together to create an experience that won’t be soon forgotten.
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