by Lily Willows
“For Laura, Hannah, Leah, Bethany and Lucy, who have demonstrated to me, the true value of female friendship.
After hoping and searching for true love, I had a realisation: there isn’t necessarily one singular love of your life, but a cluster of beautiful people, pets and of course, yourself, who add value, laughter and love to your existence. I would classify the loves of my life as my female friends. Gorgeous, kind, hilarious and empathic women who never fail to add positivity to my life. Friends who have dyed my hair pink, helped me draft text messages and cooked me jacket potatoes (with cheese and beans, of course). They have supported me through breakups with hugs and ice cream, reminding me to never settle for less than I deserve. They’ve sent me photos of their pets in Christmas jumpers and applied bejewelled eyelashes on my eyes.
Last week, I was chatting to one of my closest friends, about a recent break up. After listening, she looked directly at me and said “Lily, you are so pretty.”. I blushed in disbelief, and asked myself: Why am I searching for love when the purest form is already being shown to me by my friends? Genuine compliments are the true definition of girlhood. The warmth I felt demonstrated just how bonded and supportive female friendships can be. The right kind of love will find you whenever the time is right, but friendships can be just as uplifting as romance, perhaps even more so.
I didn’t truly understand how impactful these relationships could be until I began university. I became inseparable with two young women on the same course, our friendship strengthening over the three years we spent in each other’s company. The sign of a truly authentic friendship is when you can be completely yourself; there is no masking, no fake personalities. Showing you true self follows with you attracting friends of similar natures, sharing similar life experiences, subsequently making personalised monopoly boards of your shared years, whilst eating McFlurrys and mozzarella dippers. Upon reflection, the love I desired was diminutive, compared to the unconditional kindness and understanding those girls so willingly gave me.
Last summer, I visited a long-distance friend of over six years. On the first day, we spent several hours doing pottery, both of us decorating pasta bowls with painted strawberries. We laughed and gossiped, our hands splattered with paint, like colourful confetti. Later that evening, we were lying on the duvet in her spare room, watching a rom-com, but giggling too much to pay attention, her little black cat attempting to sneakily steal the snacks whenever we became distracted. These types of friends are rarities, gems of life. After all, girlhood seeks to uplift, include and empower.
Whilst writing this piece, I’ve found myself nostalgically reflecting upon special times I’ve shared, with special women. Unquestionably, my personal female friendships have positively shaped me as an individual, highlighting how the inherent value of female friendships are both unparalleled and incomparable.”
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