There are so many things we need to struggle with in life. Adversity is one vice we can’t quit, but it’s never by our design. It’s thrust upon us, from the moment we’re welcomed into the universe. For some, it breaks us, for others, it makes us. Yet you have the power in your mind and soul to allow adversity to make you. Yet there’s strength in letting it break you. Letting these struggles go shows itself in different forms for everyone. Why has this happened to me? What did I do to deserve this? How can they walk away unscathed? These questions plague my mind and have done forever. Every time someone does me wrong. Whether it’s heartbreak or abuse, my mind torments me with these unknowns. As if I’ve been told, somewhere down the line, that my traumas are my fault. They never are. I need to understand and believe that.
One moment. There’s always that one moment that makes everything click. You sit there and realise, somewhere down the line, amidst the storm, that you’re okay. You wholeheartedly let go. That isn’t to say that pain doesn’t leave scars on your body. Even the strongest soldiers have wounds and scars that never disappear. It’s the curse of human nature. But you reach that impasse where it doesn’t bother you anymore. The pain conceives a new version of who you used to be.
“One moment. There’s always that one moment that makes everything click. You sit there and realise, somewhere down the line, amidst the storm, that you’re okay”
My moment. One of the many moments where I realised I had let go, without comprehension. There I was, sitting at the train station, waiting for the other half of me to come home. It had been a few weeks since I’d last seen him and I was full of elation. Excitement. Two young girls approached the sole bench, one of them in tears. I debated if I ought to ask if they were okay, but they came to me first. It was one of those unprecedented fateful moments. At least that’s how I like to look at it. “My boyfriend is cheating on me”. Never would I be worried about these issues at their age. But I guess it’s the lamentable sign of the times. It reminds me of a 22-year-old me. Suffering the same thing. My heartbreak catalysing a week of silence, depression and weight loss. It destroyed me. Whilst it still causes insecurity, I found myself talking to these girls about how a man who cheats on you, doesn’t love you. As much as it’s hard to walk away as a young girl and in love, there is so much more out there for you. Especially at that age, you have so much more to look forward to. It’s hard to admit to yourself when you put yourself in a position to be hurt. Yet, I was admitting how silly that boy made me. Just so these young girls didn’t feel so alone. I made myself look ridiculous for a man who didn’t even want me. He just wanted his cake and to eat it too. And I let him. Following him around like a little puppy, making myself available whenever he wanted, all for him to run off to someone else. I knew she existed, but didn’t want to admit it to myself. But never did I think that I would reach this point. The point where I could use my pain as a means to bestow advice to others. I can’t even pinpoint the moment where it stopped hurting me, it just did. And the emotion that these girls showed me. The relief that it’s a universal experience we go through, made me realise that my pain was worth it. Whilst I had let go, my experience was useful to some strangers. Now I’ve wholeheartedly moved on and I hope I helped those girls to do the same.
The truth is, there is no art of letting go. It just happens. When you least expect it. But that’s not to say that there is no strength in feeling pain. Those who allow themselves to feel pain are the strongest of us.
Written by Cherry Lamont
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